Collingwood president Eddie McGuire apologises after somehow thinking it was a good idea to suggest Adam Goodes be used to promote the King Kong musical. Source: Getty Images
WE'VE all been there. Our brain takes a temporary holiday and we say or do something that later we just can't explain.
It's embarrassing, but, thankfully, most of us are not in the public glare of the AFL world.
Those that are have to choose their words and actions carefully, but sometimes they just can't help themselves. Here are 10 memorable examples from 2013 when some of the biggest names in the game wish they could have their time over (we hope).
EDDIE'S DONKEY KONG MOMENT
When a Collingwood fan called Sydney superstar Adam Goodes an "ape", Magpies president Eddie McGuire won acclaim for working to heal the rift. Then days later he came out with this on his breakfast radio show, when discussing a promotion for the new King Kong musical:
McGuire: "Get Adam Goodes down for it do you reckon?"
Luke Darcy: "No I wouldn't have thought so, absolutely not."
McGuire: "You can see them doing that can't you?"
Darcy: "Who?"
McGuire: "Goodsey."
Darcy: "What's that?"
McGuire: "You know with the ape thing, the whole thing, I'm just saying the pumping him up and mucking around and all that sort of stuff."
With most of the footy world in stunned disbelief, Eddie apologised profusely and said McGuire said fatigue may have led his "slip of the tongue".
"I was probably a bit too tired yesterday. I'm tired this morning as well. I'm probably more tired today to be honest," McGuire said.
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SUN GOES DOWN IN FRIENDLY FIRE
Campbell Brown said in his farewell press conference he may have "crossed the line a few times" over his 13-year AFL career, but this time he leapt over it and straight off the edge of a cliff.
Reportedly Steven May wasn't entirely blameless but it's the understatement of the year to say 30-year-old Brown should have known better than to clock his teammate with a punch to the jaw outside an LA nightclub in a dispute that may or may not have involved pop princess Rihanna.
"It was a spur of the moment mistake, if I could go back and change it I would but you can't do that in life," said Brown, who knows that lesson all too well. "Actions have consequences and clearly they have helped finish my career early."
Campbell Brown says goodbye to his AFL career. Source: Getty Images
DUSTY'S CONTRACT BACKFLIP
Dustin Martin Tweeted that reports he had walked out on Richmond were "totally incorrect". But he found it hard to explain how to better describe his move of rejecting the Tigers' contract to "pursue offers from other clubs".
Backed by manager Ralph Carr, Martin was said to be chasing $600,000 a year, but the hugely talented and sometimes wayward 22-year-old found the open market tougher than expected.
Clubs were quick to cross him off their recruiting lists and a flying visit to Greater Western Sydney didn't work out. Eventually he knocked back an 11th-hour bid by Essendon to re-sign with the Tigers for about what they offered him in the first place.
Dusty gets another mention for the jailhouse gesture in Richmond's elimination final loss to Carlton that cost him a $2000 suspended fine.
Dustin Martin (right) makes up with Trent Cotchin at the Tigers best-and-fairest. Now, about that haircut ... Source: News Limited
DEMETRIOU'S GRAVE ERROR
It was an awkward day for the AFL when the Herald Sun revealed secret inducements offered to James Hird to accept his punishment over the Essendon supplement saga.
Then Andrew Demetriou turned it into a debacle when he declared he would "go to my grave" knowing Hird was not being paid during his 12-month ban.
When it emerged later that day Hird was indeed getting paid, the league went into damage control, demanding answers, cutting off the Bombers' funding and finally coming to an agreement that allowed Hird to be paid footy's biggest Christmas bonus, getting his entire $1 pay cheque for 2014 in one hit to technically fulfil the implied conditions of his ban.
It was a fittingly farcical final chapter to footy's biggest story - for this year at least.
Andrew Demetriou insists James Hird is not being paid. Oops. Picture: Hamish Blair Source: News Limited
JEFF CALLS FOR CLARKO'S HEAD
It was April 1, so maybe Jeff Kennett was pulling everyone's leg when he called for Hawthorn coach Alastair Clarkson to be sacked after the Hawks' 10th straight loss to Geelong. "I always believe six to eight years is long enough any coach should stay at any club," the former Hawks president declared. "He has brought great service to the club, but he has been in charge of one of the best groups of young men going around in footy now for a number of years now, certainly since 2008. There was an excuse in 2009 for our performance because of injury.
"But in 2010, 2011, 2012 we underperformed ... someone has to accept responsibility for that."
Five months later, after the Hawks broke the "Kennett curse" against the Cats on the way to another flag, Kennett was man enough to apologise. Sort of: "On reflection, I was wrong to single out Alastair alone."
Jeff Kennett makes his annual appearance on this list. Source: Supplied
THE QUICK AND THE DEAD
Geelong was one point in front with 35 sec on the clock when Joel Selwood marked on the wing against the Lions at the Gabba in June. He could have stopped and chewed up most of that time - tying a shoelace, suffering a sudden burst of cramp - to ensure victory. Instead, he played on quickly to Dawson Simpson, who followed his captain's lead - and the attacking style that has worked so well for the Cats in the past decade - and handballed to Joel Corey. The veteran's kick was marked by Daniel Merrett and the ball somehow ended up in the hands of Ash McGrath at the other end as the clock ticked to zero. The rest is history as McGrath goaled from 55m after the siren in his 200th game to hand Brisbane victory in a game labelled by Fox Footy commentator Anthony Hudson the "miracle on grass".
VIDEO NASTIES
The AFL's new video goal review system had its comical moments in 2013, but its biggest failings came when it wasn't called on at all. Richmond coach Damien Hardwick described the system as a "joke" after a goal umpire got in the way of a Matt White kick that seemed on his way through the goals in a nail-biting finish in Perth in April. "We've got this fantastic thing called a review system haven't we? Fair dinkum,'' Hardwick said. "There's a field umpire, a goal umpire, and four or five blokes sitting up in a box upstairs. Someone make a decision."
Carlton counterpart Mick Malthouse was similarly non-plussed when the umps didn't think a review was needed after a Jeff Garlett toe-poke was ruled a behind against Essendon - another game decided by less than a kick.
The suggestion Garlett's failure to protest the decision contributed to the lack of review had Malthouse up in arms.
"It's a disgrace if that's the case," he fumed. "If the prerequisite is for someone to bellyache, then the whole rule should be thrown out and forget it."
The umpire thought this was a behind. Source: News Limited
BROWNLOW BLOOPER
The umpires cop it again for their decision to hand Tiger Shaun Grigg three Brownlow votes against the Bulldogs in Round 13. Grigg was serviceable enough but his 21 touches included six clangers and he didn't rate a mention in the match report. Somehow the umps judged him best on ground, ahead of teammates Bachar Houli and Ty Vickery. They must have missed the bloke in No. 16 for the Dogs, who managed 38 disposals and a game-high 143 SuperCoach points.
WHERE'S STEVIE J?
He finished fourth in the Brownlow despite missing six games through injury and suspension, averaged 29 disposals a game (topping 30 nine times) and booted 23 goals. But the All-Australian selectors couldn't find a spot for Steve Johnson in their final line-up. Worse, they didn't even include him in the 40-man squad. Stevie J also missed a spot in the top 10 of the Geelong best-and-fairest, so maybe the AA selectors and Cats coaching staff know something the rest of us don't. The lack of representatives from finalists Richmond and Carlton players was the other big eyebrow-raiser of the All-Australians squad.
Follow Al Paton on Twitter: @al - superfooty
GIVE ROBBO A RULE BOOK
Carlton's Mitch Robinson is known more for his kamikaze style attack on the footy and less for his intimate knowledge of the game's rules, but he out-did himself when he gave away a goal in the tense final quarter of an elimination final. "I didn't think that rule was applied as yet," Robinson said after punching the footy through the goals on the full from a ball-up, giving away a free kick and gifting a goal to Richmond big man Ivan Maric. "I thought I'm going to get traded next year or I'm going to get dropped after that, but we came away with a win." Asked about the incident, coach Mick Malthouse said: "Mitch Robinson is a great coach-tester. I'll leave it at that."
